The Canicratic Oath

The 10 promises of a dog walker:



10. I will always let you smell the thing.

I won’t rush you. I will let you smell that dead nasty gross thing as long as you like. Mailboxes? Yep. Trees? Always. Water hydrant? It’s almost against the law not to.



9. I will always consider letting you pee on the thing.

I can’t make any promises. We don’t pee on things that will eventually be in someone’s home. Or garage.



8. I will do my best to help you avoid bathtime.

You can sniff the thing or pee on the thing, but you cannot roll in the thing. I’m just trying to save you from yourself.



7. I’ll try to show you sights.

If you’re the adventurous type, we will mix it up. No same old boring route for us. We are adventurers!



6. We will have a balanced relationship.

I’ll talk; you’ll listen, you talk; I’ll listen. I know what dog side-eye looks like. And I know when you’re giving me those sassy ears. You can’t say I never listen.



5. I’ll let you show off for me.

I know you can shake. I’ll let you show me your manners every day. And if you want to learn, I’ll teach you new things. And then you can show off to your heart’s delight.



4. I won’t let you be bullied.

If you don’t want anything to do with that barky Dalmation down the street, we will take another street. And if there are a bunch of bullies at the dog park, we will find a better set of friends.



3. I’ll let you take sick days.

If your foot is sore, we won’t do sprints. We don’t even have to walk…we can just chill. And I’ll let mom or dad know if you’re not feeling well.



2. I got your back, fam.

If you go down, I go down. I will keep you safe and make sure you make it home in one piece. And I’m going to respect you and make sure everyone else does. But I’m not going to let you do something you’d regret the next day.



1. First do no harm.

I’m one of those liberal anti-spankers and proud to be. And I never want you stressed, you get cranky. I’ll never put you in harm’s way, physical or emotional.



My clients are more than just clients. I am their guardian and their mentor. But most importantly, I am their friend. And I have the best job in the world.